Saturday, June 27, 2009

Love Letters

I've gotten through about 5 or 6 of my Mom's love letters. Most of it is the loving, random ramblings of a man longing for his firecracker in the States. Each of these letters hint a little bit about who my Mom was, and how she loved. Through the hopeful images of a life together, this man speaks of my Mother in a very different light then i've ever known...
She longed for this man, she felt lonely, she was timid in love, and she was scared. Of course, all of these are hidden amongst the purely positive characteristics of my Mom. But one thing I rarely, and almost never, saw in my Mom was a hint of any weakness.

My Mom usually didn't offer support or advice for me in my ventures through boyfriends and loved ones. She made me figure it out the same way that she did, which wasn't such a bad thing- it definitely made me stronger. I am finding comfort that I am more like my Mom then I thought. She felt the same doubts, she dreamt the same, and she loves the same way I do.

Life is funny; while I'm extremely saddened in the idea that I don't have her here to guide me, I am comforted knowing that she is still teaching me, somehow.